What does Self Love look Like?


One of my clients recently asked me what self love looks like. Despite understanding intellectually that true happiness can only come from loving herself first and foremost, she was finding it hard to really ‘feel’ the love for herself. Most days she would wake up and look in the mirror and really not love what she saw – the extra weight, the saggy skin, the frown lines.  And this made her path to transformation seem slow and painful most of the time. She felt like she was moving two steps forward then three steps back.

Sound familiar?

The concept of self love is a hard one to grasp, I get it. I, for one, know only too well what it feels like to hate your body, day in and day out. Throughout my years of yo-yo dieting, even when I was at my lowest weight I still didn’t like what I saw. I would criticise every small lump and bump for not being ‘perfect’, just like I saw in the magazines. If I wasn’t a perfect size 10, with flawless skin, I wasn’t good enough. I really did not like myself, and so spending time with ‘me’ was hard.

So how do we ‘get’ or ‘create’ self love? How do we stop criticising, if that is all we have ever done to ourselves?

Transformation creates self love, but self love also creates transformation

Whilst self love is certainly a feeling (in other words you can feel the flow of energy passing through you), the feeling of love does not necessarily come first. What comes first is the creation of that feeling, by daily acts of self love.

The first step is to start being kind to yourself and start treating yourself the way you treat others. What would you say to another who constantly criticised your body for being ‘fat’ and ugly’? Would you allow them to abuse you like that? I think not. Yet we continue do it to ourselves.

Notice what happens to your state of mind and the way you feel about your body when you start nurturing yourself. When we engage in acts of kindness towards ourselves, the feeling of self love follows. Just like when you show kindness to another, they feel love for you – when you show kindness to your physical body, you allow the energy of gratitude to flow strongly through you, which propels you forward on the treadmill of self love

Commit to daily acts of self love

Make a commitment every day to engage in at least one act of self love, such as meditation, a walk in nature, connecting with a friend, a long relaxing bath, or preparing and savouring a healthy, nourishing meal. At the end of each day, count up how many acts you partook in, and notice each day as your awareness grows, how you’ll be naturally drawn to do more, to give more back to yourself. As the acts of self love grow, so too will the way you feel about yourself. This is what self love looks like

If you’d like to learn some quick win strategies on how to start transforming your relationship with food and your body, then book in for a free 30 minute Food Body Breakthrough session with Louise, face to face or via phone/skype. Email louise@louisejeffrey.com with subject line Food Body Breakthrough Session.